Diary of an Innkeeper

Cooperstown in the winter... Beautiful! A virtual winter wonderland. There are days when I walk around town in amazement at how peaceful it is here... Well, today wasn't one of those days!

It started like any other day. Errands to run, bills to pay. An 11 am appointment at an insurance office at the hospital. I arrived at the hospital parking lot at 10:45. It was overly crowded and hard to find a spot. I saw someone leaving and just stopped and waited. I put my blinker on and he got in his car. While I was waiting, a woman came into my aisle approaching from the opposite direction. She sees me, but stops. While the man pulls out of his parking spot, this woman immediately pulls in. WHAT THE  $#%&!!!! I beep my horn, she doesn't even turn around. I beep again, she turns off her car.

And then it happened. My inner Nicky Newarker came out (if you're from New Jersey, you know what this is. It's sort of when you mix the entire cast of MTV's Jersey Shore together). As if possessed by some crazed Snooki, I jumped out of my still running car and ran over to her car. Grabbing a hold of her door (and thinking, I hope it's unlocked because if it's not, my entire scare tactic isn't going to work) and yes, pulled that unlocked door wide open. Startled, she turned around to look at me. I yell, "Get out of my spot!!!" But I'm thinking to myself, Who am I??? What am I doing??? This is Cooperstown, no one acts like this here. I am still yelling, "How do you do that? Just take someone elses spot after they have been waiting like that." She replies, "From where I'm sitting, it looks like it's my spot." WHAT?! Omg! I'm, I'm gonna...... tell on her.

I then yell, "I'm getting the guard!" What am I thinking here? I could have yelled, "I'm telling my mother or I'm telling the teacher." It would have all sounded the same. Like I was 10. So here I go. I run to the guard's little cubicle and tell him someone took my spot. He looks at me like I am totally out of my mind. I run back and the woman is now walking away from her car. I start yelling with a smile, "Hey, the guard wants to see you!!!" She walks back as the middle aged "can't I just get back to my crossword puzzle" guard waddles over. He says, "What seems to be the problem here." I reply, "She took my spot and I was waiting for it for 10 minutes (ok maybe it was more like 3, but it seemed really long). She just pulled right in! Tell her to get out of it!" The guard looks at me and yawns, "I can't do that!"

Wait! What? You're the guard! You are supposed to combat evil spot stealers! This is when the bitch from hell looks at me and smiles, "Well, I've got to go now, have a good day." I reply in my best adolescent voice "No, YOU have a good day. What comes around, goes around!"

As I get back in the car, I realize I am shaking. Thank god another spot opened up 3/4 of a second later. Ok, it wasn't like I was never going to get another spot, but I did not want to be stepped on. My God, road rage is an ugly thing. Hopefully I will not run into her in the future. Maybe she was from out of town and not from this teeny tiny town where we run into everyone at the supermarket one time or another. It could get really ugly if she cuts me off at the deli counter.

This just goes to show, that even after six years in upstate NY, you really can't take the Jersey out of the girl.

PS: I'm not too sure you can take the Jersey out of the boy either. After the meeting, I called George from my cell phone and he said, "I can be over there in 10 minutes. I can slit her tires." WHAT? Who are we? I'm pretty sure George was kidding. I've never actually seen him slit anyone's tires. But you never know. This Jersey thing, it's hard to get rid of.

When George suggested we host Thanksgiving for his family this year, I thought, "Really? No, we can't do it. It's so many people, for so many days." I was nervous, I'll admit. Living 4 hours away from family, hosting a dinner party is a little different than hosting it 20 minutes away from family. Everyone stays. For days.

I broke down and said, "Ok, I can do this." Arrival started Wednesday afternoon. There was Mom and Dad, and Aunt and Friends. Next day, Cousins, and Brothers and their families. All totaled, 21 people arrived. Luckily, we have a guest house, so we were able to house everyone. It was gonna be great. Or so I thought...

Owning the inn, I thought, "How hard can this be? We're used to serving breakfast to many people everyday. We can do this". And it went off without a hitch. Everything turned out perfect. The kids played. The adults bonded. It was better than I ever thought it could be. I was relaxed and had a wonderful time with everyone!!

It was a picturesque several days. Friday evening Santa arrived by horse drawn wagon in Cooperstown. It was beautiful. The kids loved it. It couldn't have been better.

Until.... It hit. One of the kids had arrived with a tiny...... lingering...... STOMACH VIRUS!!! Noooooooooooo!

Late Friday evening, the first round of vomiting. My two sister-in-laws at the same time sharing the same top floor apartment with only one bathroom in the guest house. Picture a slapstick version of The Exorcist. Where a vomiting Linda Blair falls into (literally) a second vomiting Linda Blair right around the kitchen corner. Let's just say... It wasn't pretty. Next, my mother-in-law. As I write this, she is still at the hospital with George. Dr. says she's going to be fine. But, at one point, I actually heard the words, "I think I'm dying." Then I got the phone call that George's cousin was hit with it after he got home.

Wait, it was all so beautiful only 24 hours ago! With everyone gone now, I've started the sterilization process. Masked, gloved and praying. Hopefully there won't be any more victims. We'll know in 48 hours if everyone else is safe. Although with all the sickness, it was still almost perfect. Even my sister-in-law, Glynis, shaking and feverish when she left, texted us to say how wonderful the holiday was. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for our family and friends! And I am thankful that no one died on my first-ever hosting of Thanksgiving. It will definitely be.. a holiday to remember.

As another season comes to an end, I can't decide if I am relieved or disappointed. After 6 months of innkeeping, it is nice to be able to sleep a little later and talk a little less. Last weekend, we had a couple of rooms of guests (now friends) that come every year for our last weekend. It was wonderful to see and spend time with them again. On Halloween Eve, we all went to the Farmers Museum for their "Things That Go Bump In The Night" Evening. A walking ghost tour, but scary - well, not so much. My son kept hoping/praying for something to jump out (and wake him up). More of a historical walk with a couple of (sort of) scary stories. Still it was a wonderful way to end our last weekend.

As George made his last waffle of the year (for himself I might add), we debated on whether or not to bring home the waffle maker for our own home use while we are closed. "No, I'm sick of waffles!" "But we can use them on Thanksgiving when the family comes up to visit." "Ok, as long as I don't have to eat another one of them until next May." Not that they're not good. They're delicious. If you haven't already had about 173 of them in the past 6 months.

So after everyone left, it was time to start the packing/cleaning and loading of the car. Along with bringing in all the outdoor furniture, George and Aidan tackled putting away the 697 cute things that I have bought over the years to put around the gardens/meadows/decks. It's sort of like an Easter egg hunt. Looking around for all the things that we so carefully placed in April.




At least the snow has held out. Nothing worse than looking for a little ceramic rabbit under a blanket of snow. Well the snow sort of held out. All of a sudden it started to come down 1/2 way through our packing phase. Pretty hard too. Aidan yelled for me to look outside. It looked like a storm and then 2 minutes later the sun came out as bright as, well, as bright as the sun. Beautiful.




Saturday was our first weekend home in 6 months. I slept until 10. It felt amazing. And Sunday, like a gift from God was Daylight Savings Time. An extra hour of sleep. I slept even later. I have to stock up. Springtime will be back before you know it. But for now, I'll be sleeping late on weekends and staying up late (just because I can!). And already missing our guests! But May, although 6 months away, will feel as if it is here in no time. Just as the past 6 months flew by (and the past 6 years of owning our inn)! Time does fly by when you're having fun :)!

October/November is a time for debates and differences. Whether it is which baseball team you want to win the World Series or which side of the political fence you sit on, there is always someone to debate your views with. At the inn this weekend it seemed as if there was every side of the fence to debate your views with.

First off, this weekend determined which teams would go into battle with each other in the World Series. Being in NY there seemed to be many Yankee fans. All of which would come into breakfast Saturday morning without their pennants waving in the air. But I was surprised at the tone of some of these people. "It is nice for Texas. They've never won a post season series." Huh?? And then the other fans at the inn, the Phillies fans, solemnly entered the breakfast room on Sunday morning; but they too had a similar thought of sharing the World Series love. One couple was even wearing opposing sweatshirts - (wife) Phillies/(husband) Yankees.

The other major debate this time of year is the mid-term elections. Getting closer to November 2nd, it seems as if every commercial on TV is a negative campaign ad. So it was not surprising when politics came up at breakfast. But surprisingly, a liberal, a republican, a democrat and two conservatives can sit at one table and have a very serious, very calm discussion for 1 1/2 hours and not one voice is raised. With every mention of Bill O'Reilly or Christine O'Donnell, I was just sure that something would get heated. But no! To my shock everyone seemed to enjoy the conversation. The conservative couple even commented when they left, "We want to find out when that other group is coming back. We really enjoyed talking with them." What? Really? Phew! I let out the breath I was holding all morning!


How could this be? Did George put something "funny" in the coffee? We've had more heated discussions in the past about who's going to win Dancing With The Stars. With our last weekend of the season rapidly approaching, it was nice to see so many guests enjoying one another. Now if I could just figure out that perfect harmonious concoction of breakfast items, I could send a basket of them to Washington.

That 90 year old woman and her family had stayed with us two years in a row. Yep, there were two years worth of guests that she inflicted her pain on! Last year they arrived having just bought a 4-family home that they were going to fix up. This year when they checked in they informed me that they were still working on it and that they were making it a big one-family home. Ok.....

Fast forward to Day Two of their stay... That morning they walked in asking me what do my cleaning girls use in the rooms? "It was sooo clean.... It smelled sooo fresh...." Ok.... They acted so sweet and complimentary.... A good act!...

Fast forward to the Morning Of Checkout... After they left breakfast (after being oh so friendly to me and George), they went directly over to our cleaning girls. "Do you have any business cards? We are opening up an inn next summer..." Wait, wait, WHAT???? The HOUSE that they are renovating is going to be an inn in the area?? AND they tried to STEAL my cleaning staff. I love my cleaning girls! Do Not mess with them!!

The last words this family said to me when they checked out - "See you next year." I think not! Between grandma and the attempted stealing of my cleaning staff, I can pretty much guarantee you that I will not be seeing them next year. Turns out they don't plan to live at their inn. While living in NYC, they will hire someone to run their inn and there won't be enough room for them to actually stay there when they come up. So they'll need someplace to stay. Not here! Not again! Not ever! At least 2011 Columbus Day Weekend guests can now be assured of a Eunice-free weekend!


A nasty guest I can deal with. A backstabbing lying guest.... that's a whole different story!

DISCLAIMER: I have never done this before! So for all those who may not see me in the lobby, I am not hiding. Really! I am just doing other things. Really!!

Normally, I love to talk to all of my guests. You meet so many different types of people from all over the place. It is a very interesting life. But on this particular weekend. Well, not so much. She checked in and having been here once before I remembered her immediately! The conversation started like this, "Where's George? I want to see George. You, I don't remember your name!" Oh, it was going to be a long weekend!

I was sitting at the front desk with a mound of paperwork, and in walks Eunice, wanting to know how my year has been. Actually not really wanting to hear anything from me, but just wanting to talk and talk and talk. After 10 minutes of her talking/me listening, she picked up our guest comment book and decided to read me the comments, out loud, for the next 10 minutes. I've read them all before. All of them. If my attention swayed, at all, she asked if I was listening. I felt my body starting to shake. She stopped for a second, put down the book and said she was just going to get a drink and be right back. She walked around the corner to the water cooler and I did it...


Almost 90 years old and very opinionated. That would have been ok, if every other one of our guests didn't think she was my mother and that she lived here. She was the first one in for breakfast and the last to leave. She greeted every one of our guests and then stood at their table talking to them. Not your average, "Where are you from, what are you doing today" talk, but ..... abortion, religion, politics... all the taboo subjects that we normally don't bring up with our guests at breakfast!

When things were rearranged in our lobby, I knew exactly how they got there. We were told if plants needed to be watered and when tt (toilet tissue) was running low. (These two things were both told to George in the middle of waffle making. Fully expecting him to stop everything and attend to what she felt was important. And stop he did! To show her how much water WAS in the vase with the plant. "Oh, I thought it needed more!.") When I didn't water a plant quick enough, it ended up front and center on the lobby desk. This morning I woke up and found one of my outside plants sitting on the front desk. For 1/10 of a second I actually said, "How did this get here?" How the hell did I think it got here!!!!!! When the coffee cups got low, she told our guests (unbeknownst to me) that she was going to have me fired for letting things run low.

She asked a family with a 1 year old if she could hold their baby (1 minute after they entered the lobby). She called a 12 year old a "bum" for wearing his baseball cap into breakfast. She listened to other people's conversations and then proceeded to give her opinions on each and every subject. This after she told me she was forced to come with her family and that she didn't even want to be here. First, who would ever force her to come with them anywhere? Second, this gave her a chance to spew her judgements on many people in the course of three days. By the way, has anyone ever seen that movie Throw Mamma From The Train? That was random. Don't know why that came to mind.


Her favorite subject. Jesus. She loved to tell religious jokes. Thought they were the funniest things ever. She was a devout stand-up comedian. I'll bet she really knocked their socks off in church, but in our lobby, not so much. And you better laugh! If you didn't, you heard, "What don't you understand? (long drawn out explanation of joke), you have no sense of humor! What is wrong with you." Yep, that's exactly what she said. To me. And hopefully no one else!

I can only assume that her family knows exactly what she does. Her son asked a teenager, "Is she bothering you?" And the kid said, unabashedly, "Yes, she sort of is." Kids and old people. They say what they want without hesitation.

DISCLAIMER #2: All statements in this blog are true. Any normal human being would have had the same "fight or flight" response. And given that fight was definitely not an option....