Diary of an Innkeeper

Sometimes when we have errands to run or maybe go out to dinner, we leave an envelope with a "Welcome Note" for our guests. This envelope is left on the front counter with their key inside. Now for the most part, all the guests find their notes and make themselves at home. But then there is that odd guest. Last week we had two of them. 

The first was a very nice couple. I was out at the supermarket and the phone call came.

"Hi, we just wanted to let you know that we have arrived."

"Well, hello, welcome. I assume you found your key on the lobby desk?"

"Oh, you want us to go into the lobby?"

"Well, yes, go inside and get your key and make yourself comfortable."

"Oh, I am going inside right now and there it is. I see it."

OMG!!!!! This was definitely the first time someone thought that they should check in from their car. Maybe I should get a pair of roller skates. We could change our name to The Meadowlark Drive-In Inn.  Hey, that's catchy. I don't know if there are any of those. 

The second guest came when we were at a town meeting and George answered his cell phone. "Hi, I just wanted to let you know that we are here. We are in the lobby and there is an envelope with our name on it. I am assuming that there is a key in it." Well yes, there is, so this phone call wasn't really necessary was it. Why wouldn't you just open the envelope? WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!!!!! You called to let us know that you see an envelope, with your name on it, and you are assuming that there is a key in it. Really??

When things like this happen I immediately think - Was it something we did that was not completely clear. For the first guest, I suppose we can install a neon flashing sign that says "Enter Here". That would probably work well for the 1/2 dozen or so guests in the past that just can't seem to find the front door. We see them pull in the driveway, slow down, drive past the door that says "Lobby," go around the building to our own driveway where we park and sometimes pull all the way into the back. Like the inn's "Entrance" would be in the backyard. We even had one guest knock on the back door to our apartment saying "Hi, we're here to check in." I couldn't even hold back my, "Really, you completely missed the door, and the light and the sign and this is where you think you check in? Really?" I said it nicely, but I just couldn't hold it back. Next year - a brighter front door light, a bolder "Lobby" door sign. But the neon flashing light idea, may just be too tacky.

For the second guest, I've decided a voice activated recordable "Yes Man" Doll could work wonders for us. Guest walks in and "Yes Man" will announce Welcome in our own voice. And as a bonus, on days when I'm not feeling so great there are 8 pre-recorded ego-boosting statements, like, "I'm sure whatever you're thinking is correct," "Say I wish I'd thought of that," and "I couldn't agree with you more completely." Hmmm, my dream man.

Oh well, back to reality. So, as a guest comes in with questions, like, "Should we enter the lobby to check in?" or "Should we open the envelope with our name on it?" We will do our best to answer these and other seemingly obvious questions with our best, "Of course, and welcome to the Meadowlark Inn!"