You Can Take The Girl Out of Jersey, But.....

Cooperstown in the winter... Beautiful! A virtual winter wonderland. There are days when I walk around town in amazement at how peaceful it is here... Well, today wasn't one of those days!

It started like any other day. Errands to run, bills to pay. An 11 am appointment at an insurance office at the hospital. I arrived at the hospital parking lot at 10:45. It was overly crowded and hard to find a spot. I saw someone leaving and just stopped and waited. I put my blinker on and he got in his car. While I was waiting, a woman came into my aisle approaching from the opposite direction. She sees me, but stops. While the man pulls out of his parking spot, this woman immediately pulls in. WHAT THE  $#%&!!!! I beep my horn, she doesn't even turn around. I beep again, she turns off her car.

And then it happened. My inner Nicky Newarker came out (if you're from New Jersey, you know what this is. It's sort of when you mix the entire cast of MTV's Jersey Shore together). As if possessed by some crazed Snooki, I jumped out of my still running car and ran over to her car. Grabbing a hold of her door (and thinking, I hope it's unlocked because if it's not, my entire scare tactic isn't going to work) and yes, pulled that unlocked door wide open. Startled, she turned around to look at me. I yell, "Get out of my spot!!!" But I'm thinking to myself, Who am I??? What am I doing??? This is Cooperstown, no one acts like this here. I am still yelling, "How do you do that? Just take someone elses spot after they have been waiting like that." She replies, "From where I'm sitting, it looks like it's my spot." WHAT?! Omg! I'm, I'm gonna...... tell on her.

I then yell, "I'm getting the guard!" What am I thinking here? I could have yelled, "I'm telling my mother or I'm telling the teacher." It would have all sounded the same. Like I was 10. So here I go. I run to the guard's little cubicle and tell him someone took my spot. He looks at me like I am totally out of my mind. I run back and the woman is now walking away from her car. I start yelling with a smile, "Hey, the guard wants to see you!!!" She walks back as the middle aged "can't I just get back to my crossword puzzle" guard waddles over. He says, "What seems to be the problem here." I reply, "She took my spot and I was waiting for it for 10 minutes (ok maybe it was more like 3, but it seemed really long). She just pulled right in! Tell her to get out of it!" The guard looks at me and yawns, "I can't do that!"

Wait! What? You're the guard! You are supposed to combat evil spot stealers! This is when the bitch from hell looks at me and smiles, "Well, I've got to go now, have a good day." I reply in my best adolescent voice "No, YOU have a good day. What comes around, goes around!"

As I get back in the car, I realize I am shaking. Thank god another spot opened up 3/4 of a second later. Ok, it wasn't like I was never going to get another spot, but I did not want to be stepped on. My God, road rage is an ugly thing. Hopefully I will not run into her in the future. Maybe she was from out of town and not from this teeny tiny town where we run into everyone at the supermarket one time or another. It could get really ugly if she cuts me off at the deli counter.

This just goes to show, that even after six years in upstate NY, you really can't take the Jersey out of the girl.

PS: I'm not too sure you can take the Jersey out of the boy either. After the meeting, I called George from my cell phone and he said, "I can be over there in 10 minutes. I can slit her tires." WHAT? Who are we? I'm pretty sure George was kidding. I've never actually seen him slit anyone's tires. But you never know. This Jersey thing, it's hard to get rid of.
10 Responses
  1. kath Says:

    heh, i can soooo relate!! when people use the phrase 'they saw red' i could finally relate! i had been waiting in line and a someone, i forget where they were in line to begin with, tells a woman BEHIND me, she can go in front of me! wtf?? i would normally not care but for some reason, i did! so i said something and she had some smug response. well, like i said i was seeing red, i was floating above my body in some sort of trance lol ... i paid for my purchase, ran out, jumped in my car (which just so happened to be right next to hers) and before she could back out ... i backed out, in her direction. and just stopped. so now my car is behind her car, and she cant move :D
    we made eye contact so i knew she knew i was there and wouldnt back into me ... but then i just umm fumbled thru my purse, put on my lipstick ... fixed my hair in the mirror ... then i left!
    it doesnt sound like much but i felt like i got my power back lol
    but that insane woman that took over my body, thankfully, has not been seen since!

  2. I know! When you say that insane woman took over your body, that is exactly what it is. At some point there is no turning back. You can't stop her after she comes out. For some reason after my ridiculous reaction, I felt better. I think I would still be burning up inside if I just let her get away with it and stayed silent. Thankfully during all this, I didn't recognize any of the multiple onlookers though. They must have all been from other towns. Thank God!

  3. Debbie Says:

    OMG Tina!! I am peeing my pants reading this one!! You are soooooo funny!! My family thinks I am crazy as I am sitting here on my computer cracking up!! You go girl! Good thing Cheryl and I weren't with you, that biatch would have had a triple threat on her hands. You should have pulled an "Evelyn Couch" from "Fried Green Tomatoes" move on her!! xoxoxo

  4. OMG, Deb, I loved that movie! I have to watch it again. My alzheimers has kicked in, so it's like watching movies for the first time all over again. I forget what scene you are talking about.
    Ps. Can't wait to see you guys next week!

  5. Anonymous Says:

    AAAHHHH Tina this is hysterical - I just know you left out the part where you gave her the finger, called her a m----- f----- and spit on her car!! NJ and proud! (See you Tues.) Cheryl

  6. Judy Says:

    Wow! I'm glad that you didn't open the door of someone that was filled with rage. I have heard some scary stories. I definitely know what you mean when you say that once you get started there is NO stopping! Tina, I don't think that I ever want you to get angry with me. ;-)

  7. Oooooh, SnookiCheryl, sounds like it's a good thing she encountered me and not you ;)! Maybe Upstate NY has softened me a little bit (but still good to see a tad of the old NJ in me). If it had been you there, that hospital parking lot may have been very convenient.

    And Judy, I guess because I was up here I didn't think for one second this woman would have pulled a gun on me or beat me up. I don't think I would ever try it by you in NYC!! I would have been beaten to a pulp for just opening her door. Looking back I really don't know what I was thinking. It definitely was an out of body experience. Ps. I would never get mad at you :)!

  8. Mtlodge1 Says:

    Dear Nicky Newarker,
    How well I know the feeling of murder in my heart - I don't know if you remember when I rammed the person who cut in front of me on line at Sam's Club and wound up in court (I would do it again in a nanno second). But next time (and there will be a next time), just calmly get the license plate number and call me. I will be happy to get "my people" to take care of the culprit. They don't call me "Big Bertha from Brooklyn" for nothing. The photos are beautiful. I miss you all.
    Marcia (a/k/a Big Bertha from Brooklyn)

  9. Jean Says:

    Love your spunk Joisy Goil -- That witch with a B deserved it!!

  10. Anonymous Says:

    what car was she driving, I'll take care of it. Joe m.