Diary of an Innkeeper

Some people have this overwhelming need to complain about something. If there is nothing to complain about, they will find something! One couple stayed with us this week that seemed to be digging for something. Anything!

When they came in for breakfast, there was a table that was empty. A table for two. They immediately asked me, "Where are we supposed to sit?" Well how about this table here? You know, the empty table that you are standing right next to?? "Oh, ok. But this table has no silverware on it." Well the silverware is right next to the dishes. Help yourself to everything, and let us know if you want any waffles. They both ordered waffles. One with cinnamon and strawberries, no powdered sugar, sugar free syrup, the other was chocolate chips and powdered sugar, regular syrup. I felt as though they were trying to confuse me, so I would slip up and whalla, they'd have their complaint! But no, I was determined to get things right!

This particular couple was always looking around. Almost seeming to look for something that they could find that was wrong. But they found nothing. Which seemed very frustrating for them.

They were here for two days and upon check out they finally found something that they just had to complain about. "It was all very nice here, but I do have one complaint. You have a sign in the bathroom to conserve energy and water we should hang our towels up or put them on the floor if we want them replaced. But you only have two hooks on the wall. You should really think of installing more hooks if you'd like us to conserve energy." Well, we do have those two on the wall and another behind the door and another one next to the mirror. So that makes four hooks (for your TWO towels). But even telling him there were four hooks in the bathroom wasn't good enough. "I think you should really consider adding more hooks. It just doesn't seem to be enough."

As I stood there with my deer in the headlights look on my face, George jumped in, "Oh, ok, thank you so much for the suggestion. We will look into installing more hooks," he said with a smile forced upon his face. He's always so much better at these things than me. I think he was afraid that I might have continued asking, Why is four hooks not enough? What are you hanging in there? Your laundry? And how about the towel bar that the bath mat is hung on? That's like another long hook and how about the whole shower curtain rod, I bet three towels can go across that whole rod. 

As he walked out the door, George and I just looked at each other, shaking our heads. He dug and he dug and he found something he needed to tell us about. I am sure he was very pleased with himself. I'm sure at some point these words were spoken on the car ride home, "It was nice, but they needed more hooks." And with that, I'm sure they grinned, nodded their heads in unison... Their job was done.

What a fantastic couple of days. So many people were checking in and checking out commenting on our Trip Advisor reviews. "You really lived up to your reviews," "Everything we read about you was right." Etc.  I could listen to praise of our place all day long. But alas, that all came to a screeching halt at about 6 pm.

As they walked in, I felt an icy cold breeze brush across my skin. The husband's first words were the ultimate, all time dreaded words that I hate to hear. "Oh... you're... just a motel," as he looked around the lobby. What do you mean we are just a motel?? Really?? Does a motel feel like you are walking into someones living room?? Does a motel take so much care and effort in trying to make you feel like you are staying with a friend?? Does a motel give you such a nice breakfast??

Of course, I said none of that. I bit my tongue and said absolutely nothing. More afraid of not being able to stop once I started my diatribe.

I checked them in and off they went to their room. Of course, I knew it was only a matter of time before the lobby phone rang with some sort of problem. Oh, there it was. Earlier than expected. They were only in their room 7.6 seconds when the phone rang. "The TV remote doesn't work." I'll be right down. How come I knew that there would be no problem at all with the remote once I got there. As I pressed the buttons, the channels changed. "Oh, I guess I am going to have to stand in the exact spot you are standing in if I want to change channels," he said. No. Look. I can move around the room and be right where you are and it still works. See. Yes, I did say that as I walked around the room changing channels, turning the TV on and off and being a bit more dramatic than I needed to be.

As I gave him back the remote and walked out, he said to me "I hope I don't have to call you again!" Somehow I knew that was not to be. I hadn't even made it back to the lobby when the phone started ringing again. "The TV remote's not working again." Oh... my... God!!! On my way back, I swapped out remotes with another room hoping he would have better luck pressing the buttons with a different remote. As I gave him the new one, he asked me, "Where is your ice machine?" Ahhh... this was going to be a glorious 2 days. 

I'm sorry, we don't have an ice machine. But I can go get you an ice bucket. "Well I don't want it now. I want it right before I go to bed because I need to fill up my ice pack for...  blah, blah, blah," You lost me at "just a motel." 

The next morning as they walked in and I gave them a "Good Morning! Would either of you like a waffle?" I got no response or even a glance my way. They whispered to each other and without looking at me said, "Yes we will both take a waffle." I quickly made them their waffles and walked away knowing there would be no small talk. And after breakfast, no goodbye, no have a nice day, no acknowledgement of our presence.

And this was how it went for two days. Basically no acknowledgement but at least there were no more problems. I don't think they hated it here but who knows. They never officially checked out. Just got in their car and left the key in their room. Hmmm... Maybe they did hate it here. Because you know, we are... just a motel. Ugh!!

With 12 rooms at our inn and three rental houses, there is always something that needs to be fixed. George seems to be a master handyman when it comes to fixing any problem. It would get really expensive if we had to hire someone to come in and fix a plumbing, or electrical, or appliance problem all the time. We have even gotten pretty creative with our techniques to fix some of these things.

While George was busy at the inn, we had a appliance repair man meet me at one of the rentals to take a look at a refrigerator that wasn't cooling properly. There was a $65 diagnostic fee, so I knew I was going to have to eat that right away. I leaned against a nearby wall and half watched/half played on my cell phone. Or, that is what it looked like anyway.

The repairman took the refrigerator apart and showed me the part that needed replacing. As a woman (who seemed to be playing Words With Friends the whole time), I guess he didn't think I would be taking notes or paying too much attention to the specifics of what was wrong. "Don'tcha just love Words With Friends," I said. But instead of Words With Friends, what I was actually on was Repairclinic.com.

That part that he showed me that was $85 for the part and $220 for the labor, was only $30 on Repair Clinic. And really! I saw you Mr. Repairman!! It was 4 screws to the back panel and two screws for the defrost heater to be replaced. $220 for labor! Really?? He seemed really disappointed when I told him that I didn't want to spend $305 to fix the refrigerator at this time. He thought it was an easy sale.

I didn't feel bad, though. Sears made $65. AND they tried to screw us by tripling the price of the part and over charging us for 15 minutes of labor. Never underestimate a woman with a cell phone! You may think she is on Facebook or Words With Friends, but any subject is 5 seconds away from a google search.

If you've ever opened the drawer of a nightstand in a hotel, you probably have noticed that there is a bible in there. When we bought the inn 8 years ago, all the nightstands came complete with these bibles. I knew the previous owner was religious so I just assumed that she put them in there. Not wanting to go to hell, I left them there, of course. A couple of years later, a man entered the lobby explaining to me that he was the official "bible guy" in the area. He was here to check and replace worn out bibles that were in the room.

So this year's "bad" guests have been few and far between. Seems besides that one crazy guy everyone has been really nice. Early this morning after George put out breakfast he poured himself some coffee and sat down. He saw a couple of our guests walking around the property. He hadn't recognized them, but figured I was the one that checked them in. It was a beautiful morning and he thought he would tell them about a great farm road right around the corner if they wanted to continue their walk. So leaving his first cup of coffee to cool, he jumped up and went outside to greet them.